Lisa Randall knocks on heaven's door

Lisa Randall

Professor Lisa Randall, theoretical physicist at Harvard University.

Lisa Randall, physics professor at Harvard, is relatively hot property.

She's in the news with her latest book, Knocking on Heaven's Door, which explains the experiments at the Large Hadron Collider and gives a strong defense of science and the materialist outlook.

The title is not altogether appropriate. Why do scientists think they're trendy quoting a Dylan song from the 70s? Why this need to be rock 'n' roll?

OSL welcomes text and photos from readers. Contact us.

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Large Hadron Collider

The Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland

Lisa Randall was born June 18, 1962 in Queens, New York City. She was the first tenured woman in the Princeton University physics department and the first tenured female theoretical physicist at MIT and Harvard University. (Buy Lisa Randall's latest book: Knocking on Heaven's Door: How Physics and Scientific Thinking Illuminate the Universe and the Modern World).

Here at Open Source Lifestyles, we're turned on by cosmology, quantum mechanics, relativity, string theory, theories of unification, and the possibilities of extra dimensions as propounded by physicist Lisa Randall.

Strange thing, the most common search queries about Lisa Randall that come to us via Google and Yahoo are: Is Lisa Randall married? and Is Professor Lisa Randall a lesbian?

Professor Lisa Randall

Professor Lisa Randall. Actress gallery

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster, a Lisa Randall lookalike. Actress gallery

Contact, starring Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster stars in Contact. Actress gallery

OK, we'll put our considerable talents and brains to solving this multi-dimensional conundrum. First, let's lay out the argument, which goes like this:

Step One: Professor Lisa Randall looks like Jodie Foster, who played an astronomer in the 1997 movie Contact.

Step Two: Jodie Foster is a lesbian.

Step Three: Following from Steps 1 and 2, Lisa Randall is, or might be, a lesbian.

By the way, Randall knows the woman, Dr. Jill Tarter, head of Project Phoenix of the SETI Institute, on whom Foster's part is based.... you see, more evidence for the lesbian argument.

The Sunday Times wrote that Randall: has the same piercing blue eyes, shoulder-length blonde hair and slender physique as the Hollywood star. And they are virtually the same age: both born in 1962. Case almost closed ....

We need to add a further one or two dimensions to the argument:

Lisa Randall does not mention a husband in any of her inteviews, nor is a husbandmentioned in the online biographies of Randall.

Which must mean that Randall does not have, or does not want, a husband in her life. Conclusion: Lisa Randall plays for the pink team. She is a lesbian.

According to the Sunday Times, Randall lives alone in a pretty, clapboard house covered with rambling roses in the 'other Cambridge' in Massachusetts, home of Ivy League Harvard University. Uh-huh, Randall lives alone -- are you following the thread?

But then the Sunday Times delivers the killer blow, smashing the lesbian theory: Randall has a boyfriend who does mathematical modelling for a financial company.

The boyfriend even jokes about Randall's work with extra dimensions, saying: It's too soon to invest in property in extra dimensions.

Ah, but this could be a ploy, a cover. Come on, guys, why does Randall live alone if she has a boyfriend? Very fishy indeed.

But we can safely put the lesbian rumors to bed with Randall's own words: Very often research is about finding the small glitch or inconsistency that is at the root of the really big issues.

Well, we've hit those glitches. The Randall lesbian theory has more holes than a pair of fishnet stockings.

Besides which, if Lisa Randall is straight, bi, lesbian, or none of the previous, it is entirely her own personal business, which has no bearing on the fact that she's a brilliant woman in an extremely difficult field. You go girl!

Buy movies and books: Contact (Keepcase) with Jodie Foster, and Lisa Randall's Warped Passages: Unraveling the Mysteries of the Universe's Hidden Dimensions, and her latest book Knocking on Heaven's Door: How Physics and Scientific Thinking Illuminate the Universe and the Modern World.

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