What women need from men

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Woman of 40-plus are strong, independent and confident. They know what they want, and they know what they can do without. Mature women have been through relationships and marriage, some of them bad, some good; they've had children, they know what turns them on and makes them happy.

1: Confidence

It doesn't matter whether you're a mail carrier or a company director, women like a man who's comfortable in his own skin. They don't want a guy who's insecure or pretends to be someone he isn't.

Self-confidence is a turn-on. Mature women love a man who knows what he wants and is comfortable asking for it. A man should know how to please a woman. He should be aware of what turns her on, and he shouldn't be shy about finding out.

2: Financially secure and his life in order

Women don't want a man whose financial affairs are a mess. You don't have to be rich but you should be making regular money, pay your bills on time, file your taxes when they're due, and not be on the run from debt collectors.

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3: No BS

Don't pretend you drive a BMW when you drive a Taurus; don't say you make 400 grand a year when you make 40. Don't try to fool your woman into believing you are on the verge of a big break when you know it is not going to happen.

If you have any issues, for example depression, impatience, or you're a workaholic, let her know in advance. Women will accept faults in a man if he is open and honest about them.

Don't tell stories that over-inflate your importance, power, income, or physical prowess. It's a huge turn off when the facts don't match the talk. It is much better to show a woman you are content with life, are balanced, and honest. Even if BS gives you some short term gains, it does not work long term.

4: Stays in shape

Women desire men who take care of themselves. It doesn't matter how you do it, whether you run, lift weights or paddle a canoe, if you want to attract a desirable woman, you should stay in shape. There's no need to be vain about it, don't spend time admiring yourself in mirrors, don't fish for praise, but let your trim body and toned muscles do the talking.

Show your woman you care about your appearance. This doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune on the latest fashions, but you must be well groomed.

5: Is kind and caring to children

Women are incredibly loyal and loving toward their children. Never try to come between a mom and her kids. Don't criticize her way of raising her children and do not make negative remarks about her kids, even if you think they're rude, run wild, and completely lack manners and discipline.

You can melt a woman's heart by taking part in activities with her kids. Find out what her kids enjoy doing and get involved. If the kids want you to take part, don't be bashful but pitch that baseball, go to the movie theater and watch animated films with them, visit Six Flags, be a good sport at Wii Games.

Always encourage your girlfriend's kids. Tell her she is doing a great job. Don't be too boastful, and never humiliate or upset her kids. Don't destroy her kids' confidence by showing them you are better at everything the kids like.

Allow kids to excel, even if that means you have to lose now and again. The simple rule is Lift children up, never knock them down. Be a positive influence in a child's life, be a role model.

6: Is a good listener

Many men bore women to tears by talking about themselves all the time. Don't act as though a woman's role is simply to keep your ego inflated. Male stories that revolve solely around guy stuff are of little interest to a woman. If a woman likes you, she will be too polite to say that your fanatical interest in baseball and beer makes her eyes glaze over. Instead of doing all the talking, listen and take an interest when your woman talks about things that interest her.

Remember, not every woman is fired up about shopping and hanging out at the mall. If your woman wants to watch a chick flick that is of no interest to you, don't steamroller her into watching a mindless action movie, watch her movie instead.

Don't say stupid, insensitive things like You'd look great if you lost a few poundsYou look fantastic for your age. And don't talk about other women you find attractive. Don't tell your lover about the young secretary at work who wears tight outfits and has long, slim legs. How would you feel if she told you she'd like you more if you looked like Brad Pitt or had a firmer butt?

When your woman is looking good, tell her so. Compliment her on her outfits and appearance. If she has changed her hairstyle, let her know you've noticed. If she is excited about a new pair of shoes, try to take an interest in them, even if it's only a cursory glance and a few questions about the brand and where she bought them.

When you are out in public with an older woman, don't let your gaze wonder to younger women. Don't have that dumb, drooling puppy look when see a woman you like. Keep your eyes and attention on the woman you are with. She has paid you the courtesy of being with you, so be present for her, notice her, be engaged by her company.

Follow these seven simple steps and you will find it much easier to attract and keep a woman. Once a woman is interested in you, she will be loving and loyal. Your commitment to her will be returned and rewarded many times over.

By Athina Simonidou

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